Nobody has enough time, but it’s their country now

By Raphaëlle Neyton

For Immigration Connect

Nenos and Zina George and their daughter Nenorta are an island. Their apartment in Skokie is perfectly suited for such a bonded family: one bedroom for Nenos, Zina and Nenorta’s crib, a large living room with empty walls, some pictures of Nenorta on the shelves, and a large TV.

On the weekends, they shop together, go to the park, but they don’t see people from outside their family cell. They came to the United States eleven months ago, and soon discovered that here it would be harder to build relationships than at home because “nobody has enough time.”

In Iraq, their country of origin, they were part of the Catholic Assyrian community. Discrimination and displays of violence against the community strengthened the group’s solidarity. That made for strong friendships for Nenos and Zina.

“If someone was moving in in Iraq, his new neighbors would help him. They would know that he doesn’t have time to cook so they would come with food and introduce themselves,” George recalls. “But in this building [in Skokie], I don’t even know the name of my neighbors.”

When the war in Iraq began in 2003, social tensions between communities flared. The Georges  decided to join Nenos’ mother in Aleppo, a city of more than four million people in northern Syria. All their friends were also leaving Iraq, seeking refugee status, in the United States, France, Australia, or United Kingdom. They sought destinations where being an Assyrian and being Catholic would not matter anymore.

Once they got to Syria, Nenos and Zina began missing their friends. Having entered Syria as a temporary resident, George was not allowed to work. His proficiency in English, though, helped him to land a job in the oil industry. He first worked as a translator for foreign companies, and then as a safety engineer, but he was making much less than what he was making as an air conditioning engineer in Iraq before the war. That is why the Georges decided to apply for refugee status and tried to make it in America.

People are friendly but hard to get to know

On a cold night in December 2008, the Georges, and their nine-month-old daughter, Nenorta, entered the United States as refugees. Their port of entry: Chicago. They kept saying to each other: “Nenos, Zina, can you believe it, we are in America!”

Immediately they noticed some benefits of American culture, such as freedom of speech. “Here you can do anything, tell anything,” says George. “In my country you had to respect religion, traditional thoughts. I feel so free here.”

They could not help but be impressed by how convenient life is in the United States. “The internet here is very accurate,” he notes. “You can do everything by e-mail.”

To top it all, the kindness of the people they met has stayed with them. “In the stores, in the streets, in restaurants,” he says. “People are so friendly!”

Yet, it is hard to make friends.

In the United States, the Georges are looking to build a new social life. People act differently, George says, and he doesn’t have enough time to cultivate relationships. At work and at church every Sunday, people are too busy.

His wife also feels lonely. She attends ESL classes to improve her English. She is already the class translator, from English to Arabic or to Assyrian. During the day, she takes care of Nenorta. With her daughter and her classes, she does not have enough time to discover her new city. She began taking driving lessons to be able to move around the city without her husband during the weekends, so that he can rest. But isolation can be hard.

“The language barrier is too strong. I don’t have enough vocabulary to explain what I want in English, Zina George says. “Maybe I will make friends when Nenorta goes to school.”

There are drawbacks

Living in America also means getting used to its drawbacks. First, they experienced going to the doctor and being on Medicaid. In September 2009, they had to go to the hospital because Nenorta was sick and George felt like “a second class U.S. resident.” Two different doctors were very reluctant to accept them because they feared that the State of Illinois would not reimburse them. Only a third doctor agreed to treat Nenorta.

When Nenos compared this situation with Syria and Iraq, he noted that even though there is no such thing as Medicaid in the Middle East, at least everyone is treated equal. Here, when one is identified as a refugee and on Medicaid, everything changes.

Nevertheless, Nenos and his wife have decided not to look back, and to consider the United States as their new country from now on. Of course they keep informed about what is going on in Iraq but they don’t want to think about ever going back to their country. Still, they don’t want to forget their culture. She cooks Iraqi food, and at their home, guests drink kahwa arabiia –Arabic coffee. They also want Nenorta to keep her cultural heritage. They talk to her in Assyrian, the language they spoke back home.

The Georges are struggling to find their place in this country. Every day Skokie feels a little more like home. As George says proudly, “this is our country now.”

From: http://www.immigrantconnect.org

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